Holiday Prep: Navigating the Season as an LGBTQIA+ Youth or Ally

Rachael Longoria, MS, LPC, NCC (she/her) is Out Youth’s Director of Clinical & Social Services. She is also an Adjunct Professor of Counseling at St. Edward’s University, President of the Capital of Texas Counseling Association, a PhD candidate at Texas Tech University’s Counseling Education program, and operates a private counseling practice, SpeakEasy Counseling, LLC.

Alok Vaid-Menon once said, “It’s never been about comprehension, it’s always been about compassion.” This quote feels especially important as we head into the holiday season. For LGBTQIA+ youth, this time of year can bring joy but also many challenges.

The holidays often come with more harmful rhetoric and policies that target LGBTQIA+ communities. Many queer and trans youth face higher risks of depression, including seasonal depression, compared to their cisgender, heterosexual peers. Affirming someone’s identity can greatly improve mental health for LGBTQIA+ youth (Riggle et al., 2014; Tordoff et al., 2022). Without support, though, youth in states with anti-LGBTQIA+ policies are more likely to experience bullying and substance use (Watson et al., 2021). The Trevor Project also found that less than 40% of LGBTQIA+ youth feel their home is a supportive space.

Family gatherings and traditions can sometimes bring tension for LGBTQIA+ individuals. Whether you are part of the LGBTQIA+ community or an ally, showing compassion can make a big difference. Here are some tips to help you or your loved ones get through the holidays.

Holiday Coping Tips for LGBTQIA+ Youth

1. Find affirming spaces. Spend time with people who allow you to be your true self. Safe and supportive environments can make the holidays much easier.

2. Check in with your emotions. Ask yourself how you’re feeling. Do you need a break? Is there someone you trust to lean on? Have a plan for coping if things get tough.

3. Follow positive voices online. Make your social media a space that uplifts you. Follow people and organizations that reflect your values and make you feel good about yourself. (Like Out Youth!)

4. Consider advocacy or activism. If it feels right, take part in actions that support LGBTQIA+ rights. Advocacy can look different for everyone, from speaking up in conversations to supporting policy changes. Choose what feels empowering to you.

Tips for Allies of LGBTQIA+ Loved Ones

• Show your support. Let your loved one know you care about them and value who they are.

• Ask questions with kindness. Be curious and open to learning about their experiences.

• Educate yourself. Learn about LGBTQIA+ topics on your own so your loved one doesn’t have to explain everything.

• Be nonjudgmental. Create a space where your loved one feels safe and supported.

• Offer affirmations. A simple “I’m here for you” can go a long way.

A Reminder of Your Worth

It’s easy to give compassion to others, but don’t forget to show it to yourself. The holidays can be tough, especially if you’re in a space that doesn’t feel affirming. Here’s your reminder: you are loved, you matter, and you deserve to take care of yourself this holiday season.

Whether you find strength in advocacy, supportive spaces, or allyship, these steps can help make the holidays more manageable. Remember, you are not alone. Out Youth and many other organizations are here to support you through it all.

References:

Gonzalez, K. A., Pulice-Farrow, L., & Abreu, R. L. (2022). “In the voices of people like me”: LGBTQ coping during Trump’s administration. The Counseling Psychologist, 50(2), 212-240.

Johnson, K. C., LeBlanc, A. J., Sterzing, P. R., Deardorff, J., Antin, T., & Bockting, W. O. (2020). Trans adolescents’ perceptions and experiences of their parents’ supportive and rejecting behaviors. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 67(2), 156.

Riggle, E., Gonzalez, K., Rostosky, S., & Black, W. (2014). Cultivating positive LGBTQA identities: An intervention study with college students. Journal of LGBT Issues in Counseling, 8(3), 264-281. https://doi.org/10.1080/15538605.2014.933468

Tordoff, D., Wanta, J., Collin, A., Stepney, C., Inwards-Breland, D., & Ahrens, K. (2022). Mental health outcomes in transgender and nonbinary youths receiving gender-affirming care. JAMA Network Open, 5(2), e220978. https://doi.org/10.1001/jamanetworkopen.2022.0978

Watson, R. J., Fish, J. N., Denary, W., Caba, A., Cunningham, C., & Eaton, L. A. (2021). LGBTQ state policies: A lever for reducing SGM youth substance use and bullying. Drug and Alcohol Dependence, 221, 108659. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.drugalcdep.2021.108659

Creating Safe and Inclusive School Environments for LGBTQIA+ Youth: Tips for Educators and Families

As we observe Suicide Prevention Month this September, it's crucial to acknowledge the unique challenges faced by LGBTQIA+ youth in schools. Studies show that LGBTQIA+ youth are at a higher risk of experiencing bullying, discrimination, and mental health issues, all of which can contribute to increased rates of suicide. However, by fostering safe and inclusive school environments, educators, families, and communities can significantly improve the well-being and mental health of LGBTQIA+ students.

Understanding the Importance of Inclusivity in Schools

Creating an inclusive and supportive environment in schools is vital for the mental health and well-being of LGBTQIA+ youth. According to The Trevor Project, LGBTQIA+ youth who have access to affirming spaces are significantly less likely to attempt suicide. By implementing inclusive practices, schools can create a space where all students feel safe, valued, and respected.

Tips for Educators: Building an Inclusive Classroom

1. Educate Yourself and Others

• Stay Informed: Educators should make an effort to understand LGBTQIA+ issues, terminology, and identities. Utilize resources and training programs to stay informed about the latest developments in LGBTQIA+ education.

• Share Knowledge: Incorporate LGBTQIA+ topics into your curriculum and classroom discussions. This not only educates students but also normalizes diverse identities and experiences.

2. Use Inclusive Language

• Pronouns Matter: Respect and use students' chosen names and pronouns. Create an environment where students feel comfortable sharing their pronouns and correct misgendering when it occurs. Sometimes, asking students for their pronouns off the bat can create an environment where they feel put on-the-spot or singled out. The Transgender Education Network of Texas recommends that educators ask how they can best support their students through a confidential handout given to all students at the beginning of the year.

• Gender-Inclusive Language: Use language that is inclusive of all gender identities. Avoid making assumptions about students' genders based on their appearance or names. 

3. Create a Safe Space

• Visible Support: Display symbols of support, such as rainbow flags or Safe Zone stickers, to signal that your classroom is an inclusive space for LGBTQIA+ students.

• Zero Tolerance for Bullying: Establish a clear anti-bullying policy that explicitly includes protections for LGBTQIA+ students. Address any instances of bullying or harassment promptly and effectively.

4. Encourage Student-Led Initiatives

• GSA Clubs: Support the formation of Gender and Sexuality (or Gay-Straight) Alliances (GSAs) or similar student-led clubs. These clubs provide a safe space for LGBTQIA+ students and allies to connect and advocate for inclusion.

• Student Voices: Encourage LGBTQIA+ students to share their experiences and ideas for creating a more inclusive school environment. Amplifying their voices fosters empowerment and community.

Tips for Families: Supporting LGBTQIA+ Youth at Home

1. Be Open and Affirming

• Listen Actively: Encourage open communication with your child about their experiences and feelings. Listen without judgment and validate their emotions.

• Show Support: Express your love and support for your child's identity. Affirming family environments are linked to improved mental health outcomes for LGBTQIA+ youth.

2. Educate Yourself

• Learn Together: Educate yourself about LGBTQIA+ issues alongside your child. Share resources and engage in discussions to build mutual understanding and support.

• Seek Resources: Connect with local or online support groups for parents of LGBTQIA+ youth. These groups can provide valuable insights and a sense of community. Out Youth offers a Caregiver Support Group and Family Office Hours to help families learn more about how to support their child and their own mental health. PFLAG is another great resource for families.

3. Advocate for Inclusion

• Engage with Schools: Advocate for inclusive policies and practices within your child's school. Attend school board meetings and collaborate with educators to promote LGBTQIA+ inclusivity.

• Community Involvement: Get involved with local LGBTQIA+ organizations and events. Community support reinforces your child's sense of belonging and acceptance.

Resources for Creating Inclusive School Environments

Here are some valuable resources to help educators, families, and students create safe and inclusive environments for LGBTQIA+ youth:

• Out Youth (that’s us!): Provides free or low-cost individual counseling to youth ages 5-29, support groups for students and families, a safe place for youth ages 9-23 to receive support and form connections, and resources and training for school personnel,

• GLSEN (Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network): Provides resources, lesson plans, and training programs to support LGBTQIA+ students and create inclusive schools.

• The Trevor Project: Offers crisis intervention and suicide prevention services for LGBTQIA+ youth, as well as educational resources for schools and families.

• Human Rights Campaign (HRC): Provides resources and guides for creating safe and inclusive environments for LGBTQIA+ youth in schools.

• PFLAG (Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays): Offers support and resources for families of LGBTQIA+ individuals, including educational materials for schools.

The Power of Inclusive Education

By implementing these strategies and utilizing available resources, educators and families can work together to create a safe and inclusive environment for LGBTQIA+ youth. This collaborative effort not only promotes mental health and well-being but also empowers LGBTQIA+ students to thrive academically and personally.

As we observe Suicide Prevention Month, let's commit to fostering environments where every student feels valued, respected, and supported. Together, we can make a difference in the lives of LGBTQIA+ youth and build a more inclusive future.