How do I know if I'm gay/lesbian/bisexual?
Only you can determine for yourself what your true sexual orientation is. Although outside information (like books, counselors, friends, etc) can be helpful, ultimately you are the one to decide what is true for you. Being gay, lesbian or bisexual means that you have some degree of physical, emotional and/or romantic feelings for people of the same gender as you. For gays and lesbians same gender feelings are exclusive or at least predominant over other gender feelings. Bisexuals have feelings toward both, but not necessarily in equal amounts. The most common description of these feelings in early life is like having a "crush" on someone: you think about this person a great deal, you admire this person, you find it hard not to look at this person, you have fantasies involving this person and you might even be sexually aroused by this person. The person may be someone famous you only see in movies and TV, or it could be someone you see at school everyday.

Does having a crush on someone of the same gender mean that you're gay?
No, not necessarily. It is not unusual to have an admiration for anyone. However, GLB people often discover that they are gay, lesbian or bisexual after repeated patterns of same sex attractions, not just one.

Is it a choice?
Just as heterosexual people do not choose the feelings they have, neither do homosexuals. The only choice that gay people have is to accept or deny what they discover within themselves. Denial of one's self or any part of it can carry a heavy burden. Considering all of the disadvantages gay, lesbian and bisexual people face it is difficult to imagine why someone would choose to be gay if being straight is so much easier.

What causes someone to be gay?
No one really knows. No one really knows what causes people to be straight either. However, all the most recent research point to the high likelihood that it is an inborn trait and not a choice or the result of some childrearing action.

Isn't it a sin?
You will hear different answers to this depending on who you ask. In modern Christian, Judaism, and other beliefs views vary widely. Nevertheless, homosexuality was not even mentioned in the bible until this century. Many scholars and lay people have examined the original texts and found that homosexuality as we know it today is not what they are referring to. Many gay people find that their own experience when combined with their religious beliefs guides them to self-acceptance and inner peace. For more information on homosexuality and Christianity, click here to read an article by the Ontario Consultants on Religious Tolerance, or here for information about "What the Bible Really Says about Homosexuality" by Daniel Helminiak.

Why do gay people insist on flaunting their sexuality?
Gay people want the same rights as any other citizen. Gay people do not "flaunt" their sexuality any more than heterosexual or "straight" people do. When you see heterosexual couples holding hands, displaying pictures or other signs of their loved ones, having a wedding or wearing wedding rings, taking their children out to the park, or even sexually explicit advertisements, do people say that straight people are flaunting themselves? No. Gay people want to be able to celebrate their love just as openly as anyone else is entitled to do.

How many gay people are there?
Because gay people are largely invisible (you can't tell by looking at us), and because oppression makes it hard for many gays and lesbians to be open, it is difficult to know for sure. The most widely-respected figure is 10% of any given population. Gay people have been known to exist in all world cultures throughout recorded history. If it seems that there are more gay people in a given geographical area perhaps it is because that place is more accepting and friendly to gay people so it is easier for us to be visible and more of us will move there to experience the acceptance.

How does a person know if they are gay or lesbian if they've never had sex?
Sexual behavior does not determine orientation. Orientation is defined by a person's feelings, whether or not they are sexually active. There are situations where a person may behave in one way even though they are oriented the other way. For instance a young man who knows he has feelings only for other men dates only women because he is afraid of facing his true feelings or is afraid of what others may say about his true self. No matter how much he dates women, his orientation is still gay. Creating a more accepting society will help people like this from entering into problematic situations that often only become more complicated when the truth about themselves is avoided.

For other FAQ resources...
look for the book "Is it a Choice?: Answers to 300 of the most frequently asked questions about gays and lesbians" by Eric Marcus, 1993, Harper-San Francisco.

and visit the Youth Assistance Organization website.